Sunday, April 01, 2007
The People's Republic of Vermont, which elected a Socialist, Bernard Sanders, to the US Senate, is threatening to secede from the Union because the rest of the country refuses to go along quickly enough with its socialist program.
This is great news. If Vermont left right now, we could be rid of Sanders and the other moron in the US Senate from the state, Patrick "I am a Weasel" Leahy.
The Once and Future Republic of Vermont
The winds of secession are blowing in the Green Mountain State.
Vermont was once an independent republic, and it can be one again. We think the time to make that happen is now. Over the past 50 years, the U.S. government has grown too big, too corrupt and too aggressive toward the world, toward its own citizens and toward local democratic institutions. It has abandoned the democratic vision of its founders and eroded Americans' fundamental freedoms.
Vermont did not join the Union to become part of an empire.
Some of us therefore seek permission to leave.
Here is our response:
You want to leave? Go. Go now. And good riddance.
Your socialist bullshit is weighing down this country. You have two assholes representing you in the US Senate and they should be expelled.
Your state finds protection for child molesters and gay marriage. We have two words as evidence why you are unstable as a people: Howard Dean.
We want you to leave so you can stop fucking things up for the rest of us who love this country.
Maybe Canada can take you. They love socialism. You will feel right at home.
Secede now, and don't ask us ever to return.
The American People