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Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Is Nancy Pelosi Responsible?

When a hurricane hits New Orleans, Downies say George W. Bush is responsible. When ice melts too quickly in the Antarctic, Downies say George W. Bush is responsible. When Muslims in some shithole overseas bomb something, Downies say George W. Bush is responsible. Thus, the Downie plan is simple: blame all bad things on George W. Bush.

Using that time-tested formula, we found a news story which we believe can be blamed on Nancy Pelosi (D-Nutjob) - after all, this is happening right in her own district.

Golden Gate Bridge Suicides Rise Sharply

At least 34 people committed suicide by jumping off San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge last year, the Marin County Coroner's office said.

The coroner's office confirmed that 29 people jumped to their deaths from the world-famous span, while San Francisco County reported four such suicides and Contra Costa County reported one, according to Marin County Coroner Ken Holmes.

"The world's most frequent suicide site keeps its grisly status," Holmes said in a statement.

So, we have come to this grim conclusion: Suicides from the Golden Gate Bridge can be blamed on Nancy Pelosi's election as Speaker of the House.

Until we find other evidence of why the suicide rate is up, this can be the only reason possible.

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