Monday, August 29, 2005
The Weekly Religion of PeaceTM Round-Up
This week, we find in the world of the suicidal cult called Islam some wonderfully warmhearted stories of paranoia and hilarious attempts to bring the world under the "One Islam" umbrella and make us all nutties like those already in that cult of death, and Islam's "fatwa" (which sounds like someone with gas who mumbles their words) against...ready? Football.
Yup. You heard it right.
'World must convert to Islam'
Well, that's it, folks. Since some pinhead schmuck from Cairo says that Islam has won some "victory," we all need to surrender, and soon...and for the "good of humanity."
How's this message: No fucking way. Understand?
Next up...football is now illegal under Islam...to be replaced by more constructive pursuits like fucking goats and blowing up innocent men, women and children.
Saudi clerics declare football un-Islamic
Understanding that "more Islamic dress" is a suicide bomb belt and being covered from head to toe in black cloth.
Islam: The most dangerous cult on earth. It must be challenged, fought, and exterminated whenever possible.
This week, we find in the world of the suicidal cult called Islam some wonderfully warmhearted stories of paranoia and hilarious attempts to bring the world under the "One Islam" umbrella and make us all nutties like those already in that cult of death, and Islam's "fatwa" (which sounds like someone with gas who mumbles their words) against...ready? Football.
Yup. You heard it right.
'World must convert to Islam'
Cairo - Osama Shaltut claims to descend from the Prophet Mohammed and the centrepiece of his campaign for the Egyptian presidency is a promise to convert the entire world to Islam.
The 66-year-old leader of the Solidarity Party, who wears a broad smile and a neatly-trimmed beard, does not like wasting time.
"Why wait?" he asks. "The whole world should convert to Islam. Now."
Shaltut, the only Islamist candidate in Egypt's September 7 presidential election, nevertheless knows he will have to wait before he can unseat President Hosni Mubarak, who is widely expected to be re-elected.
When he introduces himself, Shaltut requests he be addressed as "Sharif" due to his holy ancestry or "Doctor" owing to his PhD in accounting.
His programme, he says, is threefold.
"First, let's gather the leaders of all religions. Then, let's apply their principles and assess the results...Finally, let's proclaim the victory of Islam."
But Shaltut admits such a process "would take around 10 years", so he advocates a universal conversion to Islam to speed things up and "for the good of humanity".
Well, that's it, folks. Since some pinhead schmuck from Cairo says that Islam has won some "victory," we all need to surrender, and soon...and for the "good of humanity."
How's this message: No fucking way. Understand?
Next up...football is now illegal under Islam...to be replaced by more constructive pursuits like fucking goats and blowing up innocent men, women and children.
Saudi clerics declare football un-Islamic
AHORE: Ulema in Saudia Arabia have issued a fatwa (religious decree) declaring football an un-Islamic sport, and have urged the youth to quit it immediately, BBC radio reported on Saturday.
According to the report, the clerics urged the youth to indulge in jihad and other constructive activities that could help the Muslim ummah, the radio reported. The ulema argued that football wastes a lot of time and the participants wear shorts, which they said was an un-Islamic dress, the radio reported.
Understanding that "more Islamic dress" is a suicide bomb belt and being covered from head to toe in black cloth.
Islam: The most dangerous cult on earth. It must be challenged, fought, and exterminated whenever possible.
