Joobo the King of Wisdom

You're Not Going to Believe This!

That is the comical title of an e-mail to little old me from no less a moron than Tom McMahon, Executive Director of the Downtrodden Party, writing how those evil Republicans are just trying to do something in Washington, and because Downies have an aversion to doing anything even after a catastrophe, he rants and raves and rails and...voila! asks for some of my hard-earned money to help his silly party, knowing full well that if I was dumb enough to send it to him, and his minions got elected, they would take that as an endorsement and clean my bank account out through higher and more luxurious taxation.

And now, live from Doofusland, we give you one of the Chief Doofi...with my comments inserted, of course:

Dear _______:

Governor Christine Gregoire was sworn in months ago in Washington State-- the Republican Secretary of State certified her victory, and she's been governing for over 100 days.

[And she was found to have stolen the election. So what if some moronic Republican "certified" her theft? - Ed.]

Her race was close -- that's why, immediately after the election, they conducted an initial machine recount. Then, even though the Washington State Democratic Party had to pay for it (which they did with your help), they conducted a hand recount to make sure that every legal vote was protected and counted.

[It was so "protected" that hundreds of votes mysteriously turned up in places they should not have been...making it more likely that Gregoire's thieving party is knee-deep in this theft. - Ed.]

But guess what -- the Republican who lost the election still won't admit defeat.

[It is always so hard to let a thief have his...or, in this case, her...winnings. You just want them back, right? - Ed.]

He's struggling to seize power and stay in the headlines by holding press conferences, running ads and filing junk lawsuits. He has even publicly released lists of people he thinks shouldn't have been allowed to vote and accused others of being convicted felons -- only to find that his lists contained registered, legal voters every time.

[Fortunately for Dino Rossi, the Republican, you have morons like McMahon and Gregoire on the opposing side - it makes it so much easier to defeat them via intelligence. - Ed.]

The Democratic Party in Washington needs to beat back this assault on their elected governor. Please support them now:

https://secure.wa-democrats.org/contribute_dnc.php

[I really wish the party of Rapist Willy Klintoon would not use the term "beat back" in any of their future mailings, okay? - Ed.]

As Governor Dean works with state party chairs across the country to give them the resources they need to build for the future, we can't lose sight of the battles being fought on the ground right now.

I know that Governor Dean asked for your financial support just a couple of weeks ago. Thousands of people like you responded -- putting staff and resources on the ground in our first four states and accelerating the pace of our program to build a long-term presence everywhere. Thanks to you we'll be able to announce the next group of states shortly.

But we can't fall into the trap of diverting resources from our long-term goals -- we have to find a way to meet urgent needs at the same time.

That's why I'm asking you to step up and help the Washington State Party now. No one anticipated the Republicans would lose the election and mount a reckless and absurd campaign for months after. The state party needs resources to keep its team going -- to keep fighting back in public and in the courtroom.

Please consider making a contribution now:

https://secure.wa-democrats.org/contribute_dnc.php

As you watch the situation in Washington State unfold, you can't help but see the similarity to what's going on in Washington, D.C. -- when the Republicans don't win they try to change the rules.

[Yep - those evil Republicans. Let them win majorities in the House and Senate and just watch them to try to run things. Damn them all to hell! - Ed.]

Here, Senate Republicans want to change the rules so they can silence Democrats and exercise absolute power. And House Republicans changed the ethics rules to protect their leader, Tom DeLay, whose corruption and influence peddling schemes seem to unravel more every day.

[As Downies continue to lie and make this an issue of "Senate rules" and not of their reluctance to all votes on judges, they will be seen as more and more obstructionist. And Tom Delay has not been found guilty of one single matter. Leave it to Downies to convict someone before the investigation ever happens. - Ed.]

Republican leaders in Congress and their operatives in the states are out of touch and out of control. And with the least popular second-term president ever, their desperate abuses of power will only get more extreme.

[Yep...its the evil Republicans AND George W. Bush and "their operatives in the states" (whatever that means) are "out of control." Once again: Downiespeak for "Son of a bitch! We keep losing elections to these Republicans! They must be out of control!" - Ed.]

We need to stop them in their tracks now so we can get back to the people's business:

https://secure.wa-democrats.org/contribute_dnc.php

[That's right...we need to stop the Republicans so that we Downies can get back to the business of doing nothing, saying nothing, and blocking everything. Now THAT is a program for success! - Ed.]

Thank you.

Tom McMahon
Executive Director, Downtrodden National Committee

I cannot wait until the midterm elections in 2006. I want to see Howard "Duckie" Dean lead his ridiculous and moron-laden collections of frauds, thieves, and liars to utter ruin...maybe a 10 seat pickup in the House and 2-3 in the Senate for the Republicans will make Howie turn lime green with sickness. It can't hurt, and I would be thrilled to see him and his party get the fourth consecutive spanking by George W. Bush and the GOP.